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I Wish You Had An Axe Guitar

Clocking in at 36 seconds, this one is short like a couple of other Alone offerings (ex. “Ooh,” and a few Songs From The Black Hole transitions), but differs from those in that it’s…not actually music. Rather, it’s a clip (dated 1984!) of conversation from an early rehearsal between the members of Rivers Cuomo’s first band, Fury. Cuomo, then barely a teenager, is heard aspiring to be like Kiss (something he’d later put to music with “In The Garage”), and wishes that his bandmate had an “axe guitar” for onstage cool factor. His reputation for being a difficult bandmate probably began around the time of this little artifact: you can hear him scolding one of his underlings as the boy struggles to grasp Cuomo’s vision for their visual identity. “A wig, you fool!”


  1. Adroit wrote:

    A bit harsh saying it was a waste of a track slot. More likely that Rivers had the tracklisting down and added this to it, rather than dumping a lost gem to make room. Or maybe he did do that…

    Anyway, I think it compliments the Alone sleeve photos of Rivers as a teenager, so not quite pointless.
    The theme of the record is intimate home-taping, so I guess it adds a little historical context to that too.

    Should have been tacked on the end as an unlisted ‘hidden’ track.

    Friday, September 5, 2008 at 4:45 pm | Permalink
  2. PKMN Trainer Red wrote:

    I was so disappointed when I heard this one. “I Wish You Had an Axe Guitar” was one of the tracks I was most excited about. That would’ve been such a cool song title! Actually, I think I’m going to write a song with this title…

    Friday, September 5, 2008 at 4:51 pm | Permalink
  3. Art Vandelay wrote:

    Not being a song, i’d probably have skipped this one over, TBH.

    Friday, September 5, 2008 at 6:25 pm | Permalink
  4. Soyrev wrote:

    If it’s been officially titled and released by Cuomo himself, I will certainly write about it. Even if it’s a tape recording of him doing his daily vispassana meditation.

    And yes Red, this title did sound like one of the most tantalizing on the Alone tracklist. A great song with this title deserves to be made.

    Friday, September 5, 2008 at 6:28 pm | Permalink
  5. WaltDisney wrote:

    I’m with Adroit, here. It’s like finding a penny and being annoyed it wasn’t more, when really it indicates the greatest day of your life, should that ever happen. It hasn’t happened to me, but I have heard this cool snippet of young Rivers. Not as good as Pinkerton, though.

    Friday, September 5, 2008 at 6:31 pm | Permalink
  6. CountChocula wrote:

    Agree’d 100% on expecting this song to be utterly amazing based on the title. But I wasn’t too dissapointed, young vars was pretty hilarious. He had that same controlling manner through all of his bands, I guess? Haha, still, I can see how this can be considered a wasted slot. A real song woulda been preferable.

    Friday, September 5, 2008 at 8:02 pm | Permalink
  7. GumbyTom wrote:

    Can’t say anything new about how this was expected to be an actual song. But I do question it’s placement on the disc. I think it should’ve been either after Ooh or as the last track.

    Well, the last three entries have been Ooh, I Do and Axe Guitar. I think the next one’s going to be either YGYLTMS (going with the short songs theme) or OID, just because.

    Friday, September 5, 2008 at 11:25 pm | Permalink
  8. Sick Nick wrote:

    For me Ooh and this were both wasted tracks. Esp this. It is cool to hear young Rivers.

    As far as why they would tape this, audio taping stuff was somthing my best friend and I did alot back in the 80’s when we were about the same age as rivers on here. We would tape campouts and sleepovers. I’m sure if we had a band we would have had a tape that sounds almost identical. It was kind of like videotaping before videotaping was as viable an option as it is now. Those tapes are fun as hell to listen to now and have spawned many quotables to boot.

    Saturday, September 6, 2008 at 8:36 am | Permalink
  9. Michael V wrote:

    Yeah,Plus “I Wish You Had An Axe Guitar” also blends well into “I Was Made For You” as well for reasons I simply do not know

    Saturday, September 6, 2008 at 7:03 pm | Permalink
  10. John wrote:

    I think if Rivers must of included it, he has done it in a good manner as it is a separate song rather than an intro or outro, which if he had done that it would of taken away from a song. Still a disappointment as it has a class title and could of been so much more.

    Also are you included Brian/Pat side projects in this or not?

    Sunday, September 7, 2008 at 1:09 pm | Permalink
  11. GORDON wrote:

    I can’t see why you have to whine about this “Wasting space” its just a small piece of river’s early life. Its a light hearted look back at what he was like.

    Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 7:29 pm | Permalink
  12. ThomYorke wrote:

    I agree, Gordon. It’s a cute look in to his life as a kid worshiping his rock gods, Kiss. I actually thought it was really amazing he still had that audio clip, and that it was even recorded to begin with. The clip proves how genuine River’s love for metal and music really is, even at this age.

    Your grumpy tone and impatience for this 36 second track is out of line.

    Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 7:56 am | Permalink
  13. ThomYorke wrote:

    And it’s not trivial either, for the aforementioned reasons.

    Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 7:57 am | Permalink

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