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Oh No, This Is Not For Me

This is one of the interstitial pieces from Songs From The Black Hole, a project previously discussed here in greater detail. Clocking in at around 44 seconds, it’s a short song more notable for its purpose in the rock opera’s story arc than it is for its musicality. Rivers Cuomo apparently found it integral to the story: “Oh No This Is Not For Me” is on both of the beta tracklists for the unfinished opus.

The song is a brief continuation of the conversation Jonas (Rivers’ character) and Maria (Joan Wasser’s character, although she was never contacted for the project) have been having for the past few songs, most recently “Come To My Pod.” Jonas realizes he is leading on his fellow space cadet and that he must put an end to it; Maria (here voiced by Cuomo himself, albeit pitch-shifted) tries to soothe him, but Jonas is too ashamed — seguing into the next song in the arc, “Tired Of Sex” (later finished and released as the opener to Pinkerton). Musically, “Oh No” is a jarring, staccato rocker that soon goes legato to symbolize the emotional release felt by Jonas in his admission of guilt. It’s a neat little thing, but one that would need to be heard in the context of a finished Songs From the Black Hole to be fully appreciated.

Life’s What You Make It

What a disappointment the Red Album b-sides were. For the first time since The Green Album, fans were promised a series of outtakes and bonus cuts through a slew of singles and special deals. The Deluxe Edition graced us with four (excellent) extra tracks from the Red sessions; various iTunes pre-order and “buy full album” shenanigans were endured for two more tracks (which wound up being rough demos from the Make Believe sessions, for whatever reason); and then a clutch of b-sides, dispersed across the physical “Pork and Beans” singles (one CD, two red 7-inches). They all wound up being covers, but covers of good songs — ones one might not associate with Weezer— so fans were interested to see how the band would handle classics by the likes of The Band, Talk Talk, R.E.M., and Gary Numan.

“Life’s What You Make It” is the Talk Talk song, a mid-’80s single that found them halfway through their metamorphosis from pretty-boy popstars to spectral soundscape visionaries. As drummer Pat Wilson has professed to being a big Talk Talk fan in interviews past, he steps up to the plate and takes the lead vocal on this version. Sadly, it’s pretty obvious that this was a solo Wilson job, the man himself probably having played every instrument (at the very least, all the vocal tracks are clearly his), and not unlikely having done this from the comfort of his home studio. So what makes this a Weezer cut instead of one accredited to Wilson’s long-running sideproject, The Special Goodness? Not much, besides its placement on a Weezer single, it seems.

Musically, it’s pretty unimaginative. Wilson replaces the piano line with a fuzz bass, lazies up the drums a bit, copies the guitar more or less verbatim, and ta-da: a slightly noisier, grungier, shoegazing take on “Life’s What You Make It.” Only for completists.

Ain’t Got Much Time

I’m not sure if I’m missing anything, but I only have one version of “Ain’t Got Much Time,” a live take from the Extended Hyper Midget Tour dated 2001/11/29. Although never released, it’s even shorter than the recently-discussed “Space Rock,” beginning and ending in a lean 100 seconds. The lyrics are typical Maladroit era excrement — “Why can’t you get me on the line? / I swear to you I ain’t got much time” — and the hard rock-lite riff before the verse is a bit clunky. But the verse’s three-part vocal harmony is pretty awesome, a bit like the classic Beatles intro to the forgotten Weezer gem “O Girl.” From there, the trim chorus has some nicely interwoven lead guitar and vocal melody, and the bridge features some good vocal interplay between Brian Bell and Cuomo. In this context, those metallic riff breaks (and the shredding solo) actually kind of work — even the lyrics feel more forgivable. With a little work, this could have been something; as it is, “Time” is still better than most of the album that passed on it.

Thought I Knew

“Thought I Knew” is one of three songs off 2008’s Red Album to feature someone other than Rivers Cuomo on lead vocals. Those unfamiliar with the band’s history won’t appreciate just how surprising it was to hear that bit of news in the months before the album’s release. It hadn’t been since 1994’s Blue Album that anyone other than Cuomo received a writing credit (drummer Pat Wilson, co-writer of “Surf Wax America” and “The World Has Turned And Left Me Here,” and “My Name Is Jonas” – the last of which also featuring contributions from former guitarist Jason Cropper), and even then, Cuomo sang those songs. The band had experimented with having other members write and sing in the sessions for Make Believe, but none of those songs were considered for the final tracklist.

It had been a long time coming for guitarist Brian Bell, who submitted his first four songs to the band way back in 1998 — including two that eventually translated to his then-sideproject the Space Twins, “Butterfly Collector” and “Seventeen.” However, even though the whole band enjoyed playing these songs at rehearsal, Cuomo vetoed their consideration when it came time to submit a demo of new material to Geffen Records. The band did record several versions of Bell’s “Yellow Camaro” during the Early Album 5 demos of 2002, and even played it live during contemporaneous tours, but that was as far as he could get.

This song began as “I Thought I Knew,” a pretty, minor-key kiss-off aimed at a girl who had left him hanging, which Bell originally demoed for his current sideproject, The Relationship. Between acoustic strums and piano, Bell in this version mutters a series of half-hearted apologies that demonstrate the influence of Cuomo’s penchant for cliche: “Sorry if I caused you pain / Sorry I forgot your name / Sorry, but you left me out in the rain.” The second verse boasts some nice choral backing; the bridge develops with an able craftsman’s sense of pacing; and the synthesizer lays a blueprint for what could be a fine string arrangement throughout. It’s melodramatic, by-the-books stuff, but even as a blown-out, poorly transcoded home demo, it’s appreciably superior to much of what made the cut for the three preceding Weezer records. When fans discovered a new version would be on Red, many rejoiced.

Granted, the major-key Weezer version wound up showcasing their latter-day knack for futzing up a good thing. There’s an awful synth-drum intro (which, the liner notes point out, Wilson came up with “in a few minutes” — no surprise), cheap canned handclaps, and a sonic palette that sounds like something by Hootie & The Blowfish or Sugar Ray. On the plus side, Wilson — who usually drums — provides some crucial variation with his meandering guitar leads, to the particular benefit of the chorus. Cuomo went as far as to claim Wilson’s playing here makes for the best guitar on the album (and, by way of Cuomo’s stubborn refusal to offer any leads himself, he might be right). But generally speaking, the song fails to realize the original demo’s potential, which Bell had carefully mapped out: though one might wish to refrain from discouraging experimentation in Weezer (a more and more oppressively conservative group, as years go on), a professional rerecording of Bell’s version would’ve been a great improvement upon what they released instead.

Bell seems to agree: in a recent interview, he states that while he “really does like Weezer’s version,” he doesn’t think it was done to the best of the song’s potential. (He even attempted to pull it at the last minute, pushing with all his might to replace it with Cuomo’s vastly superior “Miss Sweeney” – easily one of the very few new century songs to match if not surpass the standard the band set in the ’90s – but remarkably enough he was denied by his master.) However, as Bell relates himself, “I was talked out of taking it off and [told] that it was important to have it on the record.”(Cuomo insisted his three sidemen each get their turn at center stage on the album, out of the presumptuous and selfish desire to condition fans to expect the same thing to happen at live shows. Cuomo, as he approached his 40s, sought more opportunities to rest his voice during Weezer’s incorrigibly short 80-minute sets.) Bell’s biggest qualm, like mine, was that the beginning of the song sounded, to his ears, “like a Mountain Dew commercial” — a hilariously incisive assessment. Either way, it quickly became clear that Cuomo’s authoritarian tendencies hadn’t subsided like he wanted it to seem.

For the band’s recent MTV Session, they turned in a sharply-dressed version of “Thought I Knew” before a live studio audience of…square dancers. In any case, it’s a beautiful performance — gone are the tacky intro and handclaps, the soft drink synth-drum, and all of the studio version’s other regrets. Bell does a great job fronting the band, Scott Shriner’s backup harmony is just what it should be, Wilson’s lithe guitar work is like that of a seasoned session player, and Cuomo’s cocktail kit backbeat is pleasantly understated. A studio recording of this arrangement would have likely been the best possible outcome.

Space Rock

In general rock crit parlance, “space rock” refers to a subgenre innovated by bands like Pink Floyd in the 1970s, then revived and updated a couple decades later by the likes of Spacemen 3 and Failure (particulary on the latter’s masterpiece, Fantastic Planet). In Weezer parlance, however, “Space Rock” refers to probably the worst song off of Weezer’s probably worst album (another close contender being “My Best Friend,” from Make Believe).

At least this one is short. In fact, at a paltry 1:53, it’s the shortest album track Weezer has ever released. But it wastes no time of its brief life, from the aural barf of the instrumental track to Rivers Cuomo’s embarrassingly self-righteous lyric. “Space Rock” is a song about the intense level of online communication with his fanbase he maintained at the time, during a brief period in ’01/’02 (the somewhat less offensive “Private Message” also addresses this subject, as does an unsurfaced song called “Message Board”). Here Cuomo complains, “You wanna cry / When you’re dealing with the kids,” referring to the fans who were giving him negative feedback about The Green Album and the increasingly lackluster Maladroit session samples Weezer were then uploading to their homepage every few days. “They know it all / And they’re pinning you to boards” is a double entendre referring to both the fans’ complaints and the medium through which they voiced them, These backhanded insults might have had some bite were they actually placed in a decent song, but “Space Rock” sounds like an argument being lost.

We Go Together

In the fall of 2001, Weezer — fresh off a comeback with The Green Album, and having just replaced rehab room bassist Mikey Welsh with ex-Marine Scott Shriner — agreed to film a concert for HBO’s Reverb series. Funnily enough, it wound up being one of the shows the band did under their alter-ego, Goat Punishment (who had previously played two secret shows covering the songs of Nirvana and Oasis), hence the gigantic light-up “=GP=” that hovers behind the stage. HBO of course advertised it as a Weezer concert, which must have left viewers at home pretty confused as to why Rivers Cuomo was saying things like, “Thanks for coming to see the Goat.”

Perhaps the moniker was adopted for this show not only to encourage a small, “intimate” club setting, but also to explain the dodgy setlist: fans witnessed almost nothing but what were then nascent Maladroit contenders, like “Faith In The Light” and “Fall Together.” Green deep cuts “Glorious Day” and “Smile” were also played, as were singles “Hash Pipe” and “Photograph.” Eventual Maladroit bonus track “Living Without You” and the elusive “Diamond Rings,” one of the better (if still typical) outtakes of the era, were both on the setlist, but sadly neither of them made it to the official broadcast of the concert, and the performances remain uncirculated to this day.

One outtake that was broadcast, however, is “We Go Together.” It’s a pristine document (both audibly and visually) of a song that is, in the soon-to-dawn Maladroit era, a rare glimpse of smart pop craftsmanship. It’s comparable to “Diamond Rings” in that it’s a synthesis of Green and Maladroit aesthetics that work better than the majority of what made it onto either of those albums. The instrumentation is simple but effective, Cuomo’s lead vocal melody catchy and singable (some have claimed it blatantly rips off the Grease song of the same name – which would mark it an early ’00s song indeed, among other derivative works like “I Do,” “Burndt Jamb,” and “December” – but aside from the obvious similarities at the beginning of each verse, I think it’s more a tribute than anything), some surprisingly spot-on falsetto ooh-oohs from Scott Shriner, and Pat Wilson’s snug-fit drum work. Cuomo’s verse-conclusive guitar leads are great, and though too brief, the solo is a nice blend of Green‘s formulaic repetition and The Blue Album‘s pentatonic ambles. Lyrically, the song seems to be caught between Green‘s readymade love song themes and the aimless free association of Maladroit, but it works well enough.

Unfortunately, the only other version of the song we have is from the Maladroit sessions, dated January 10th, 2002. Nearly three months after its HBO Reverb incarnation, it has already regressed quite a bit: the performance is sloppy, Cuomo attempts to retread the lyrics from the HBO performance but seems unable to rally (“But another ding-ding-dong, that much is true?”). The song would get even worse when Cuomo rewrote the song under the new name of “Little Songs” for the Early Album 5 demos – but we’ll get there.

Falling For You

Imagine my surprise when, in researching the previous post, I found out that Rivers Cuomo called “Beverly Hills” and “Falling For You” – two diametrically opposed pop songs – his two proudest musical achievements. Then imagine my surprise when, after “Beverly Hills,” the very next song to come up in the TVS randomizer was…”Falling For You.”

Cuomo specifically cited the solo, bridge, and last chorus — in other words, the entire second half of the song — as one of his two proudest moments, and it’s refreshing to hear him say something like that in 2007. Because he’s right: the last minute and 38 seconds of “Falling For You” is Weezer’s pinnacle, a dizzying high the band could never hope to reach again, and it’s surprising to consider that Cuomo can even remember it after his long descent into simple-minded pop (Green), numbskull “metal” (Maladroit), and Shrek-tier mainstream (Make Believe). True, Cuomo copped out of the question by concluding that “it’s impossible to decide,” but “Falling For You” and “Hills” were the only two songs he mentioned during his consideration.

“Falling For You” is the ninth in a 10-song suite called Pinkerton. I was tempted to say it’s the crux of the entire storyline Pinkerton tells, but then my mind drifted to “Butterfly,” the ultimate track, which this one penultimately sets up. Then I thought to call it the “emotional center” of the record, but had to check that against “Across the Sea.” Convenient superlatives won’t serve us well when discussing “Falling For You:” its greatness is too elusive for that.

The song begins with a cyclical bit of guitar noodling, sounding dazed above a brief clip of a Korean advertisement — purportedly a stray radio frequency the band picked up one day in the studio, perhaps from K-Town — in which a voice asks, “What company makes this product?” It’s not the meaning of these words that matters, for they bear no clear relation to the song or the album in general, but rather the serendipitous way in which it was stumbled upon. (It’s possibly some clue to the ethnicity of the girl for whom Cuomo is falling, though, considering how Pinkerton is such a candid document of Cuomo’s preferences.)

The riff that envelopes this half-buried found sound actually began playing during the faded conclusion of “Pink Triangle,” wherein Cuomo found himself hopelessly in love with a girl who, so the story goes, wound up being a lesbian. Now Cuomo seems to have finally found the answer to his long and painful loneliness, a girl he’s known for quite some time but never pursued. Two more guitars enter and build gracefully towards the coarser distortion of the verse, which deliberately masks the eloquent brilliance of the chord progression (in a genre usually defined by three- and four-chord riffs, “Falling For You” crafts a poetic chain of more than twenty – covering, in fact, every one on the chromatic scale). The lyric begins: “Holy cow, I think I got one here / Now just what am I supposed to do?” He’s finally found an anchor, but feels more lost than ever. The next couplet, emotionally underscored by bassist Matt Sharp’s vulnerable falsetto — “I’ve got a number of irrational fears / That I’d like to share with you” — sets the tone for all the ambivalence that follows. That split between the first two lines and the next two – the excitement, the uncertainty, and then the honest admission — really is an arresting little summary of falling in love. The sentiment is repeated with greater clarity during the chorus, to great effect: “I’d do ’bout anything to get the hell out alive / Or maybe I would rather settle down / With you.”

Unlike most of even the best-written Weezer songs, there’s actually enough nuance and allusion in this song’s lyric sheet to sustain a term paper. At the beginning of the second verse, Cuomo briefly rues having to turn in his “rock star card” so soon (a reference to the album’s opener, “Tired of Sex” – and a beautifully efficient way of reminding the listener how long ago that was, how quick Cuomo is to forget all the desperate loneliness he’s felt between then and now, and how unhappy he felt even when he was pulling that rock star card every night of the week; this moment also foreshadows “Butterfly,” the record’s final acceptance of that unhappiness and Cuomo’s tendency to choose it), “just as [he] was bustin’ loose” (a reference to “The Good Life”). But as the first verse ends with that perfectly parenthetical admission, “But I do like you,” it returns in the second one, no longer some kind of aside but stated plain as day: “And I do like you.” Even then, the conflicting feelings remain: Cuomo tells her she’s “the lucky one,” the one to finally win his heart, but then he doubles back on himself: “No, I’m the lucky one.”

The music itself, meanwhile, is maybe the single best summation of the Pinkerton aesthetic, arguably one of the most idiosyncratically performed and produced records in rock history. (There are those superlatives we were looking for.,..) The way that, two lines into every verse, that second guitar timidly rouses itself from silence, feeding back slightly as it gathers its courage, then tears into effusive allegro shredding like fireworks, great big arcs of feeling and color trailing down from the night sky. (This is maybe the very best example of Cuomo’s onetime signature, the pairing of classical beauty with metal aggression.) The rest of the band’s contributions aren’t to be overlooked, either: Pat Wilson’s drumming here is a deft blend of passion and precision, all big tom rolls and exacting cymbalwork; Sharp’s falsetto is as purposeful and crucial as it was on “Say It Ain’t So” two years prior; and Brian Bell’s guitar work is unhinged and instinctual, descriptive – like everything here – of the song’s complicated emotional core.

And then there’s the solo. The way it starts out mumbled and messy, burdened by the mire of Wilson’s heavy beat and Sharp’s leaden bass, before rising up and out, two lead guitars beginning to converse like awkward crushes before gradually closing the distance between them, ending intertwined in a sublime triumph of Romantic harmony. Their twinning makes for the seamless segue into the bridge and one of the single smoothest key changes in rock history, whereupon a plaintively double-tracked Cuomo intones: “Holy sweet goddamn, you left your cello in the basement / I admired the glowing stars, and tried to play a tune.” In an instant, it recalls – like the beginning of the duelling solo – the simpler times of that awkward but exhilarating crush in”El Scorcho” (where Cuomo, backed by the famous Sharp falsetto, doted above Wilson’s stilted, eye contact-avoidant beat: “Oh, the redhead said you shred the cello / And I’m jello, baby…”), now having quite literally modulated into something strange and confused and beautiful, like the wandering guitar lead that continues to wail beneath these words. They’ve become so close now that she’s left that same cello – the very one the mere thought of her playing used to make Cuomo melt, just two songs ago – in his house. (The “glowing stars” are a reference to the cheap children’s stickers this girl had put on her hugely expensive instrument – she sounds pretty cool indeed – though the more literal image of her boyfriend taking the cello up from his basement to the yard and trying to find a way to play the thing while she’s not around is of course intentional, and wonderful.)

From there, Cuomo does the self-deprecation thing better than he probably ever has (“I can’t believe how bad I suck, it’s true / What could you possibly see in lil’ ole three-chord me?” – an especially clever bit in a song that’s got roughly four times as many), before concluding: “I’m ready, let’s do it baby.” But in circumventing the traditional rock patterns to which he so readily ascribes himself, and by being so self-contradictory throughout the lyrics, it seems clear that this love is one that’s not quite right, desperate and troubled as it seems. The foreboding in these many mixed emotions seems to be confirmed with the song’s amelodic conclusion — a screaming swell of feedback that abruptly cuts out after ten tortured seconds — which sets us up for the next song, and the album’s gutting conclusion.

Beverly Hills

It had been three years since anyone heard from Weezer. After 2001’s The Green Album and the following year’s Maladroit, both of which most die-hards had  initially despised, the Early Album 5 demos were aborted, and for three years, virtually nothing seemed to be happening with the band at all.

“Beverly Hills” was the single that ended the drought. As guitarist Brian Bell later revealed, that first sampling was nearly going to be “My Best Friend” (a disaster mercifully avoided), but it was “Hills” that was chosen to be the first radio single, and it prefaced Make Believe‘s official release by about six weeks (and its unofficial leak by about half that time). It is distinguished by being arguably one of the least-Weezer songs Weezer has ever released, and their biggest hit — in a little over eight months, it sold nearly a million copies on the iTunes music store, and was the top-selling digital song of 2005 according to Nielsen SoundScan. But between that simple, plodding, boom-boom-chop beat (which recalls Weezer’s own “Blast Off!,” Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll,” Queen’s “We Will Rock You,” and a thousand other tunes), the gratingly corny girl-vocal “gimme gimme!” backups on the chorus (recalling the Offspring’s art crime “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)”), and the Peter Framptonesque talkbox guitar solos (yes, plural) — the latter of which being perhaps the only interesting thing going on here, and for many the song’s saving grace — it all feels so very anti-Weezer. Cuomo once said that their breakout hit “Undone – The Sweater Song” was the most embarrassingly simple thing the band ever recorded, as it’s simply a basic I-IV-V-IV progression throughout. Granted, “Undone” is actually a fairly complex song, featuring two spoken word interludes, several fine instances of vocal counterpoint, what Sound Opinions talkshow host Jim DeRogatis called “at least three distinct movements,” a guitar-symphonic outro and new music piano postlude — but “Beverly Hills” features an even more simplistic harmony (I-IV-V), and does very little outside the realm of all but the most generic pop (except, tenably, the talkbox solos, which do very little outside the realm of generic Peter Frampton).

That said, I like “Beverly Hills.” It’s not Weezer proper, per se, and something about this song just seems so typical, so stupid, so very much the representation of everything the Weezer of the ’90s was entirely against. But there’s an efficiency to its stupidity, a musically honest communication of the song’s vapid message: it’s cool to be famous. Coming from someone who’s actually famous but, as he admits in the moment-of-clarity bridge, is by no means cut out to be, that message and its song possess some kind of scrappy charm. It’s hard to imagine ever reaching for the studio version, but the song itself wouldn’t be unwelcome on a setlist.

“Hills” features a return to verse-rapping uncharted by Weezer since “El Scorcho,” but the lyrics are mostly terrible (aside from the strangely vivid line, “Look at all those movie stars, they’re all so beautiful and clean / When their housemaids scrub the floors they get the spaces in-between”). Here the “Undone” comparison becomes all the more apt, because that was a single that was taken as a joke, while Cuomo would insist in interviews that it was actually quite heartfelt. No doubt in part thanks to these raps, the same thing happened in 2005 — it’s just a little harder to believe (or accept) in the case of “Beverly Hills.” In Cuomo’s own words:

I was at the opening of the new Hollywood Bowl and I flipped through the program and I saw a picture of Wilson Phillips. And for some reason I just thought how nice it would be to marry, like, an “established” celebrity and live in Beverly Hills and be part of that world. And it was a totally sincere desire. And then I wrote that song, ‘Beverly Hills.’ For some reason, by the time it came out – and the video came out – it got twisted around into something that seemed sarcastic. But originally it wasn’t meant to be sarcastic at all.

There is a bit of an admission that the meaning had changed here, though, which makes the prospect of hearing Cuomo’s original “Beverly Hills” demo somewhat appealing. Cuomo also stated, in his weezer.com Fan Interview of 2007, that “Hills” is one of his two proudest musical achievements, saying, “With this one song we were able to transcend our little niche and connect with all kinds of people, young and old, from all kinds of backgrounds.” It’s hard to imagine that a band that had already sold several millions of records in America alone still considered themselves to have a “niche” audience, but it’s not difficult to sympathize with Cuomo’s pride: he had been hoping for a mega-hit of this proportion ever since Pinkerton tanked nearly a decade prior. If for nothing else, it is a wonder of craft for being such a relentless machine of a pop song, with such a specific purpose that is so perfectly and commercially realized that one could be forgiven for thinking its success was inevitable. These kinds of songs aren’t easy to write, and even if the end product is something that might make fans of “Across the Sea” sick, it’s worth crediting Cuomo for the platinum completion of an experiment he first began in 1997: how can one of the smartest songwriters of his time overthink his way into making one of the most accessibly dumb songs ever?

The music video takes place at the Playboy Mansion and features a brief cameo from Hugh Hefner, along with droves of Weezer fans dancing and singing. There’s an “(Early Mix)” of the song in circulation, in which the “gimme gimmes” are not done by a session vocalist/model, but rather the band themselves in falsetto (very preferable). Weezer also turned in a live-in-the-studio take for their 2005 AOL Session, which features the crude dude falsetto in overdrive (on the verses, even), and an extended talkbox solo — pretty good, actually. The band also played it live on Letterman, a rendition that included the extended solo, a pissed- and possessed-looking Cuomo, and a mostly superfluous female vocalist standing to the side of the stage, shaking a maraca and doing the “Pretty Fly” thing. There’s also a hilariously pitiful, literally pretty fly Jimmy Kimmel performance, wherein the band are elevated twenty feet into the air by acrobatic wires during the chorus, which happens accidentally during a low-key verse instead of the big chorus pay-off (Spinal Tap galore). Lastly, there’s a Radio Disney edit of the song in which the word “crap” had to be edited out, so that the opening couplet goes, “Where I come from isn’t all that great / My automobile isn’t all that great.” At the end of the day, that’s probably the most honest version of the song there is.

I Wish You Had An Axe Guitar

Clocking in at 36 seconds, this one is short like a couple of other Alone offerings (ex. “Ooh,” and a few Songs From The Black Hole transitions), but differs from those in that it’s…not actually music. Rather, it’s a clip (dated 1984!) of conversation from an early rehearsal between the members of Rivers Cuomo’s first band, Fury. Cuomo, then barely a teenager, is heard aspiring to be like Kiss (something he’d later put to music with “In The Garage”), and wishes that his bandmate had an “axe guitar” for onstage cool factor. His reputation for being a difficult bandmate probably began around the time of this little artifact: you can hear him scolding one of his underlings as the boy struggles to grasp Cuomo’s vision for their visual identity. “A wig, you fool!”

I Do

In 2001, Weezer was poised for a comeback. The past year had been one of changes for the band, who had returned from three long, stagnant years to play their first “reunion” tour to rapturous applause and surprisingly sold-out audiences. These shows offered the debut both of a replacement bassist, Mikey Welsh, and of a new, streamlined sound in a batch of songs that would later become known as the Summer Songs 2000. The vast majority of those compositions would be rejected during the band demo process — be it by the label or the group themselves — and Rivers Cuomo would further streamline his songwriting into the catchy (yet deliberately nondescript) Green Album. Cuomo had recently finished writing the material for that album with “Knock-Down Drag-Out,” the late-2000 song that would be the last to make the cut for the album, although a few more would be attempted for the sessions.

The last of those attempts — and the very first song Cuomo wrote in 2001 — was “I Do.” Then untitled, the song went from conception to studio recording to official release in the span of just four months, when it was issued as the b-side to the US versions of the “Hash Pipe” single. Before then, “I Do” had served as an understated introduction for the band’s pre-Green live tour. Spare, slow and mournful, it was a clever way to dilate the audience’s senses for the onslaught of emotive power pop to come (which, in most cases on this tour, would begin with either “My Name Is Jonas” or “Photograph”). These nights would be Weezer’s last as crowd-pleasers par excellence: they had a fanbase, that fanbase’s desires were clear, and the band was well-positioned to deliver on them. As soon as Green dropped, Cuomo initiated a period of antagonizing his audience, often playing long sequences of nascent Mala-dreck and Green deep cuts before offering the audience even a taste of what most of them had come to hear (Cuomo’s stage banter during this time was also bizarre, at times taunting his crowd for what they wanted and what they were instead going to get). To wit, there’s a 6/21/01 bootleg of the band playing in Dortmund, Germany, wherein the band masochistically subjects the audience to 11 such songs before playing any pre-2000 material at all. The cathartic applause that greets the opening notes of “Only In Dreams” sounds like hard-won euphoria — but then the band only plays the 3-minute instrumental climax of the song, before dragging the room back into the mire with “Take Control.” (The band never played Dortmund again; probably no one who paid for this gig would mind.)

In the Weezer discography, “I Do” is an anomaly in just about every way. It is the first piano-based song that the band had ever released (Cuomo later claimed that “Haunt You Every Day” was the first song he wrote on the piano, but that is probably incorrect), and the simplicity of its arrangement had only thus far been surpassed by “Butterfly.” It sounds unlike anything on Green, and even less like anything Cuomo was writing during this time (“Keep Fishin’” was written just two songs before “I Do,” and Cuomo would quickly move on to pen “American Gigolo”). Despite clear superficial differences, “I Do” more closely resembles the spirit of the Weezer of yore than most else the band has done in the new millennium. The song begins with a pained squall of guitar (sanded by classic Weezer feedback), quickly giving way to Cuomo’s lonesome voice and keys. He sings with unapologetic emotion and remorse (something that only vaguely came to the surface on Green with “O Girlfriend”), with the simple refrain: “You told me that you’d always love me.” The strange guitar figure that opened the song returns for a brief, wailing solo, Cuomo repeats the chorus, and adds the concluding resolve: “Never more again / Will I believe the sun.” A beautiful song, and beautifully concise: it comes and goes in two minutes flat.

Sadly, the song bears blatant resemblance to Billy Joel’s “Leningrad,” as Cuomo takes what Joel used as an introductory theme and uses it throughout his own song (verbatim). To be a Weezer fan is to forgive such theft with some frequency, but this is one of the more glaring examples in the released Cuomo oeuvre – an unfortunate blight on one of Weezer’s best songs post-Pinkerton.